Netflix Picks of the Month (Kid’s and Parents)- January 19

I and eldest haven’t done this in so long and, I’ve always really enjoyed sitting with him and doing it. The reasons we haven’t are plenty. Mainly, never-ending sickness and the fact that eldest was just ‘too busy’. How a five-year-old can be too busy is beyond me! Probably the kind of busy he gets when playing his Nintendo Switch in the bathroom and demanding that I wipe his bottom because, and I quote, ‘he is fighting an important boss’. Now that middle can talk and, loves nothing more than Netflixing and chilling, I have also allowed him to dictate his picks (oh god). So here is what the kids and, hubby and I have been watching this month. As per usual, I will be writing the kid’s picks as and how they say it. Brace yourself.

  • Kid’s Picks 

Pokemon the Series: XYZ- (dictated by eldest, comments from me in italics) 48 episodes (What? That would explain why I haven’t seen him all month then). 

I just like this because, in one episode, the green ninja could mega evoke, without a keystone (I think he means ‘evolve’ and I ashamed to know this. But, there was a major Pokemon Go phase a year ago). There are also two eggs! Two, mum! (No idea what this means). I like how, in each episode, you have to guess which Pokemon they are showing you. It’s just a shadow though so, it’s mega hard. Well, probably for other people but, not me. Owen always says each one is Pikachu. He’s so annoying mummy. There were lots of episodes so this was like, good. I could watch it forever and relax (much to middle’s annoyance and frustration I may add). Daddy really likes it too because he said it keeps me quiet. It’s good he likes it too isn’t it? (I bet he does). Anyone who likes Pokemon will love this show because it’s just allllll about Pokemon. If you don’t like Pokemon then I think you won’t like it (I think you might be right there son). 

Sonic Boom- 52 episodes (Why don’t adults get this many episodes in a series? I’m assured, after checking Netflix that, he has only watched ten of these).

This is about Sonic mummy (no, really? I’m shocked to the core). He is in it and so is Tail’s and stuff. They run around trying to get the badman who is called Doctor Eggman. It’s kind of ok but, I didn’t like that it went on for ages. I got bored and wanted to build Lego instead. Remember when we played Sonic on the Xbox and you said it’s so boring and all you do is get coins? (Yes). Well, how can you say that about Sonic but play Super Mario and think that’s good? It’s getting coins too! (How about you stop being smart enough to pick on my inconsistencies as a female. I suggest you get used to this). If a boy likes the game, they will like this. Sometimes I like the game but mostly I don’t.

Paw Patrol- Two season’s and 25 episodes (middle dictating)

Me like Paw Patrol. Me like Marshall the best. Daddy like Rubble best (does he?). Paw Patrol stupid (what? Why do you watch it endlessly then?). Me got Paw Patrol game from Santa. Ay Ay (eldest) not let me play game. He stupid too. Me watch Paw Patrol now in living room. Come, mummy! Living room! (This was a majorly bad idea involving him in this). Me have nana (banana) and blanket too (he loves relaxing that one).

PJ Masks-  one series, 26 episodes (middle dictating)

Ghecko green. Owlette red. Rawr! PJ masks (run’s round kitchen with arm in air like a superhero). Me love PJ Masks. Connor, Owlette, Ghecko (screaming now. Though I think Connor is cat boy? I should not be questioning this). Mummy (whilst pointing and being overly dramatic) Ay Ay not like PJ Masks. Ay Ay stupid. (No words. Being stupid is almost like a compliment at this stage as everyone seems to be this or a poo poo face at the minute- charming).

The Rents Picks (when you ever find the time to watch anything) . 

You- one series, ten episodes

We really thought this was some show aimed at teenagers so refused to watch it. Maybe it was due to Penn Badgley and the Gossip Girl connection. But, we were told it wasn’t by my sister in law and, to give it a chance. I think we watched three episodes back to back when we actually sat down to watch it. So unlike us. But, it was so gripping. It follows Joe who has taken a shine to ‘Beck’s’ after she comes into his bookstore to purchase something. It quickly turns into infatuation, stalking, and ultimately murder. Woah, that escalated quickly! It’s so odd however as in one way you like this utter insane person Joe. Maybe it’s because Beck’s just comes across as so untrustworthy and fake. Anyone else thinks the same?

Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes (4 episodes)   

I stumbled across this on a Saturday night when, as usual, there was nothing on and, I realised that I had no idea who Ted Bundy was. I hate not knowing who people are, much to my detriment. It was ten pm when I put this on and figured it would be short as just a documentary. How wrong I was! I ended up going to bed at two am as it was a series. Obviously, this is all Netflix’s fault and not my own lack of self-control. It was shocking but, so fascinating. How could someone be that evil and unashamedly so? I’m not sure if this series would be as appealing if you already know the facts but, I was certainly gripped because I didn’t. The disastrous police operation that left him free to kill and, kill again will have you baffled. His narcissistic ways which, are all too apparent on the footage shown, will send shivers down your spine as will his voice on tape recordings. Definitely, one to watch but, give yourself a whole afternoon to do so and don’t end up wrecked like me.

Fyre- The Greatest Party That Never Happened- one episode 

This is a documentary that explores the fraudulent Fyre festival, its organisers and those of whom the failure of its materialisation has affected. It sound’s as boring as watching paint dry but, I can assure you, it’s unintentionally hilarious. What’s not to like about a bunch of rich kid’s getting conned out of their money purely because they’ve seen some models posing for pictures on an island and offering a bespoke musical experience in exchange for thousands? It’s also interesting to observe how the organiser charmed his way around everyone and still refused to admit he’d done wrong, even at the end. Nineties rapper Ja Rule is also randomly involved as the event’s co-organiser. His hugely inflated sense of self-importance because of this is worth a watch alone. I can’t even spoiler but, look out for the grey-haired man and his story about the water. I did not see that coming (excuse the pun) and have been laughing for a full week now! Why would you even admit that to the world? The mind boggles.

Netflix Picks of the Month For Kids and Parents- July 2018

Myself and eldest didn’t do this last month, mainly because he said he didn’t want to. I’m not about forcing my children to pander to me, therefore we refrained from doing it. This month, however, he asked me. Because, and I repeat, “I have been watching so many great things this year” (I think he means weeks). So, as is tradition, here is what he has been watching and, what myself and hubby have watched. As per usual, he will be dictating his and I will be typing it as he does and trying to keep up with his many ramblings!

The Kids (dictated by eldest) 

Home: Adventures with Tip and Oh- Four season’s 

This is a cartoon about that film we watched before. You know the one about the alien that was a bit stupid? So it’s after the film and Tip and Oh are best friends and things but, Oh is still stupid and silly. Like the one with the hot dog hat and he thought picking your nose was a game (what the actual? I have no clue what he means!). I just like it because there are loads to watch but, it is funny because of Oh. Because he is an alien, he doesn’t understand what earth is and what he should do. He get’s confused and Tip has to always explain things to him. It’s like Owen when he keep’s peeing on the floor and I have to tell him that you don’t do that. Isn’t it? Why yes it is, however he mainly laughs instead of correcting him. There is a lot of singing in it and, I mean A LOT. Sometimes this is good but sometimes it’s really annoying. Only girl’s like singing, like you. It’s annoying when you sing too (such a charmer- not!). 4/5

Miniforce- one season, billion’s of episodes 

This is actually much gooder (better, son) than even Home. It’s about lots of different coloured, cute animals but, they can actually transform into robots and fight baddies! I didn’t even believe it myself, but they do! I guess they are like Transformer’s, aren’t they? There is one called Volt and, I am NOT even joking, he can run faster than the speed of light. I could probably run just as fast if I tried really hard. The girl one has magical powers, but I can’t remember her name. You would like her as she is pink. Callum (his cousin) would probably like her too what with him loving Frozen and all. One has super strong powers too so, they all work together to sort out the bad guys. Do you need to have powers to feat (defeat, son- again!) the bad guys? Or can you just like punch them hard? Do humans have magical powers or just cartoons? (fml). 5/5

Matilda- Film 

You put this on because we were reading the book at bedtime. I didn’t want to watch it AT ALL. But, and, don’t tell daddy, it was really good. How many times have I watched it now? (about ten, dear god help us!). Matilda’s mum and dad are baddies. Her brother is bad to her too. Even at the start of the movie they don’t even strap her into the car and she is just a baby! She nearly flies out of the boot! That is what will happen to Owen if he keeps taking his buckle off in the car seat (yes, that’s why I am always going mad son! This show’s he does actually listen on occasions). All Matilda want’s to do is read books. She even just walks to the library herself. Can I do that too? (NO). Miss Trunchbull is the biggest baddie I have ever saw (seen). She even throws kids out the window by their hair. She actually throws kid’s mum!! What people don’t know is, that Matilda has magical powers. So, she can like move things and hit people with them. That was the bestest (best) part. I liked how there was a happy ending. Can we just watch films instead of reading books? Films are much funner (more fun and, no). 6/5 (what?).

The Rent’s 

Power- five season’s 

As some of you may know, from a previous post, I had fully committed to watching all five season’s of this in quick succession. This was wholly optimistic on my behalf. Did I forget I have kids or something? It has taken me much longer than anticipated but, I have finally succeeded in watching them all. Thus, I feel that I can finally review and, potentially receive some kind of award ( i will await the parent, watching tv, equivalent of the Victoria Cross). I will not lie, there is a reason you will keep watching this. Ok, the storylines are good but, HELLO GHOST! This man is so utterly beautiful, rough, strong but ultimately loving. He is like a buffer Mr Grey! That killed me to type that as, I am a devoted Jamie Dornan fan (nearing stalker level. Um, not really in case he or his solicitor ever reads this). I can’t spoil anything with this so, have to be careful. Just think gang’s, gun’s, perception and forbidden love. It takes a few episodes to get hooked but, once there, you will be having severe withdrawals if you can’t watch it. It is no Breaking Bad but, I don’t think anything ever will be. It’s so good to know you can watch an episode each night when the kid’s are asleep. The TV is so awful lately. The only downside is that I am now speaking like a total gangster even though the only gangster thing i do is sometimes send the 100 emoji. Don’t hate, celebrate! 5/5

The Staircase- documentary- thirteen episodes

Sometimes I get a bit nervous when I decide to venture onto Netflix at the weekend when there is nothing on. Show’s like The Staircase is the reason why! I actually stayed up until 2am on a Sunday morning watching this. God, did I pay for it the next day with the kids. F#cking Netflix and, not my lack of self-control obviously! This documentary follows Michael Peterson, a man whose wife, unfortunately, fell down the stairs, resulting in her death. But, was he responsible? Each episode aims to show if he was or not. There are so many twists and turns that you cannot help but watch on. See, all Netflix’s fault! It did take a few episodes to get into but, I am all for murder and espionage. I had my own thoughts on whether he was guilty the whole way through and, despite everything shown, this never differed. If you’ve watched, what did you think? I can’t spoiler anything, so watch and see what you think.

** coming up next, Orange is the New Black season six review. I have cleared my diary and, these kids better cooperate. I want no sickness, no bedtime f#ckery and, no nonsense! This mamma has some ladies of a different persuasion to catch up with (hopefully)**

Netflix Picks for Kids and Parents- May 2018

Once again myself and eldest (Aden) have sat together and compiled this. It’s like a new tradition now and he loves contributing (speaking freely without restriction whilst I type manically to keep up). Here’s what the kids have been watching endlessly and what myself and Hubby have just about managed to watch in light of this:

The Kids  (dictated by eldest Aden, typed by me)

Spy Kids: Mission Critical- One season 

There has hardly been anything new on Netflix lately for kids. That’s sooooo unfair, can you phone them and ask them why? There was that Spy Kids thing I watched. It was quite okay actually and was funny sometimes. It’s about a brother and sister and they are like, some kind of spy people who do spy type things. The boy is called Juni and he has orange hair and his sister is called Carmen and she has dark hair. They work as a team with other spy kids to feet (I think he means defeat?) the bad guys. Sometimes the bad guys pretend to be good and it’s only at the end that they know they aren’t so have to fight them fastly (quickly- he needs to start school soon, my correcting is doing nothing). The big, massive baddie is called Golden Brain and he is just super mean and cray cray (no more Jay Z and Kanye for him). I like how this looked like the Pixar films we have been watching and i liked most the fighting because that is cool. Can you be a spy person when you’re big or is that just pretend? Maybe I will do that then so I can fight baddies all day then fight Owen at nighttime (middle). 3/5

The Peanuts Movie 2015- 1hr 28 mins 

This film was sooooooooooooo boring. I changed it over to Horrid Henry like one day into it (one day?). I don’t know why you even put that on as you took me to the cinema to see it years ago and we had to go as it was so bad! I wanted to see the Star Bar’s film with daddy but you made me go see that stupid film instead (whoops, oh yeah- remember now). I never want to see that film ever again, I would rather eat a spider (ok then! I sincerely hope nothing serious ever happens in his life if this is how dramatic he is). 0/5

The Angry Birds Movie 2016- 1hr 37 mins 

This is a film about that game that I am the best in the world at playing (modesty son). All the characters from the game are in it- the red bird, yellow and black one. Oh, and the green pig things! The birds can’t fly which is like the game too as you have to put them in a big slingshot and fling them at wooden things. They live happily in their bird home place- where do we live mummy? Oh Norn Ireland, I never knew that (I tell him that all the time actually). Well, they live in their own Norn Island (Ireland, son) and then the pigs come to live there and this makes them very mad and really sad. The pigs put big bombs all round their houses and the birds have to ask some massive bird (eagle) to help them as he can fly. I liked how the red bird was really cross all the time. This made me laugh. I quite liked how colourful it was too and that it was like the game but more real life. Are we finished this now? I’m so bored! Maybe I can have your phone to play Angry Birds again? (oh no, what have I started reminding him of this- face palm).  5/5

The Rents : 

The Rachel Divide – Documentary (1 hr 44 mins)

I put this on randomly as I am so fed up with there being nothing to watch on normal TV, bar on a Friday- why is this? I will be honest, I thought it would be woeful but, it proved otherwise. Everyone has heard of Rachel Dolezal but, if you haven’t, she is a woman who is white but identifies and classes herself as a black woman. The whole saga is all the more perplexing as she shirked from telling anyone she was white and held a senior position in the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People). In this capacity she campaigned and gained the trust and confidence of many people. You begin watching this thinking it is the most bonkers thing you will ever view but, it succeeds in making you have an understanding as to why she went down this particular route. You begin to feel sorry for her whilst still questioning her honestly. The plight her children face in light of all her decisions will break your heart also. Worth a watch if only to be left scratching your head contemplating whether you accept the reasoning or not. 4/5

27: Gone Too Soon- Documentary (1 hr 10 mins) 

I appear to be in a depressive documentary phase this month! Note to self to watch some less serious shit for next post! But it is a fact that I will watch anything to do with music or artists who are/were truly artists. Those who can perfectly express pain because they can feel it deeper than others. This documentary deals with those artists who sadly became part of the so called ’27 club’. Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain and Janis Joplin  to name but a few. It explores their early lives before stardom, their lives after fame hit and the demons they tried and failed to battle whilst in the public spotlight. I found this so interesting and learnt about some artists that I hadn’t encountered before. Great snippets of some of the best performing live too and interviews with some interesting people. Hubby even put down his laptop to watch it, so it must have been good! 5/5