Myself and eldest didn’t do this last month, mainly because he said he didn’t want to. I’m not about forcing my children to pander to me, therefore we refrained from doing it. This month, however, he asked me. Because, and I repeat, “I have been watching so many great things this year” (I think he means weeks). So, as is tradition, here is what he has been watching and, what myself and hubby have watched. As per usual, he will be dictating his and I will be typing it as he does and trying to keep up with his many ramblings!
The Kids (dictated by eldest)
Home: Adventures with Tip and Oh- Four season’s
This is a cartoon about that film we watched before. You know the one about the alien that was a bit stupid? So it’s after the film and Tip and Oh are best friends and things but, Oh is still stupid and silly. Like the one with the hot dog hat and he thought picking your nose was a game (what the actual? I have no clue what he means!). I just like it because there are loads to watch but, it is funny because of Oh. Because he is an alien, he doesn’t understand what earth is and what he should do. He get’s confused and Tip has to always explain things to him. It’s like Owen when he keep’s peeing on the floor and I have to tell him that you don’t do that. Isn’t it? Why yes it is, however he mainly laughs instead of correcting him. There is a lot of singing in it and, I mean A LOT. Sometimes this is good but sometimes it’s really annoying. Only girl’s like singing, like you. It’s annoying when you sing too (such a charmer- not!). 4/5
Miniforce- one season, billion’s of episodes
This is actually much gooder (better, son) than even Home. It’s about lots of different coloured, cute animals but, they can actually transform into robots and fight baddies! I didn’t even believe it myself, but they do! I guess they are like Transformer’s, aren’t they? There is one called Volt and, I am NOT even joking, he can run faster than the speed of light. I could probably run just as fast if I tried really hard. The girl one has magical powers, but I can’t remember her name. You would like her as she is pink. Callum (his cousin) would probably like her too what with him loving Frozen and all. One has super strong powers too so, they all work together to sort out the bad guys. Do you need to have powers to feat (defeat, son- again!) the bad guys? Or can you just like punch them hard? Do humans have magical powers or just cartoons? (fml). 5/5
You put this on because we were reading the book at bedtime. I didn’t want to watch it AT ALL. But, and, don’t tell daddy, it was really good. How many times have I watched it now? (about ten, dear god help us!). Matilda’s mum and dad are baddies. Her brother is bad to her too. Even at the start of the movie they don’t even strap her into the car and she is just a baby! She nearly flies out of the boot! That is what will happen to Owen if he keeps taking his buckle off in the car seat (yes, that’s why I am always going mad son! This show’s he does actually listen on occasions). All Matilda want’s to do is read books. She even just walks to the library herself. Can I do that too? (NO). Miss Trunchbull is the biggest baddie I have ever saw (seen). She even throws kids out the window by their hair. She actually throws kid’s mum!! What people don’t know is, that Matilda has magical powers. So, she can like move things and hit people with them. That was the bestest (best) part. I liked how there was a happy ending. Can we just watch films instead of reading books? Films are much funner (more fun and, no). 6/5 (what?).
Power- five season’s
As some of you may know, from a previous post, I had fully committed to watching all five season’s of this in quick succession. This was wholly optimistic on my behalf. Did I forget I have kids or something? It has taken me much longer than anticipated but, I have finally succeeded in watching them all. Thus, I feel that I can finally review and, potentially receive some kind of award ( i will await the parent, watching tv, equivalent of the Victoria Cross). I will not lie, there is a reason you will keep watching this. Ok, the storylines are good but, HELLO GHOST! This man is so utterly beautiful, rough, strong but ultimately loving. He is like a buffer Mr Grey! That killed me to type that as, I am a devoted Jamie Dornan fan (nearing stalker level. Um, not really in case he or his solicitor ever reads this). I can’t spoil anything with this so, have to be careful. Just think gang’s, gun’s, perception and forbidden love. It takes a few episodes to get hooked but, once there, you will be having severe withdrawals if you can’t watch it. It is no Breaking Bad but, I don’t think anything ever will be. It’s so good to know you can watch an episode each night when the kid’s are asleep. The TV is so awful lately. The only downside is that I am now speaking like a total gangster even though the only gangster thing i do is sometimes send the 100 emoji. Don’t hate, celebrate! 5/5
The Staircase- documentary- thirteen episodes
Sometimes I get a bit nervous when I decide to venture onto Netflix at the weekend when there is nothing on. Show’s like The Staircase is the reason why! I actually stayed up until 2am on a Sunday morning watching this. God, did I pay for it the next day with the kids. F#cking Netflix and, not my lack of self-control obviously! This documentary follows Michael Peterson, a man whose wife, unfortunately, fell down the stairs, resulting in her death. But, was he responsible? Each episode aims to show if he was or not. There are so many twists and turns that you cannot help but watch on. See, all Netflix’s fault! It did take a few episodes to get into but, I am all for murder and espionage. I had my own thoughts on whether he was guilty the whole way through and, despite everything shown, this never differed. If you’ve watched, what did you think? I can’t spoiler anything, so watch and see what you think.
** coming up next, Orange is the New Black season six review. I have cleared my diary and, these kids better cooperate. I want no sickness, no bedtime f#ckery and, no nonsense! This mamma has some ladies of a different persuasion to catch up with (hopefully)**