This week I have mainly been…. dealing with a regressing four year old and toddler tantrums. Someone shoot me!

Attempting to write this whilst middle naps and eldest has left me alone for a minute. Multi tasking as usual!

This week we found out that eldest got into his first choice of primary school- phew and breathe! It seems this news has only served to make him regress however. As I was putting out my second wash of the day on Monday, I heard him screaming “mummy” from the bathroom. Thinking something was wrong, I abandoned the task in hand and ran in. There he was, sitting on the toilet, tablet resting on his legs, demanding that I “wipe his bottom”. This is something he has been more than capable of doing himself for many years. By this stage, it should also be quite clear to him, that I am literally up to my eyes in shit on a daily basis! Between exploding baby, middle still in nappies and the bloody dog to pick up after! “You are going to school in September” I said, “everyone will think that’s sooooo embarrassing that you ask your mummy to wipe your bottom” I added. He looked at me like I had three heads, then stated, matter- of-factly “well, obviously they aren’t as busy as me with games to complete”. Okay then! It is now Sunday and he is still asking me- FML!

As if a regressing four year old wasn’t enough to contend with, middle is in the throws of the terrible twos this week. Tantrums over anything and everything! Including the fact that I dared to cut up his dinner, opened a packet of crisps for him and took him out of the bath when the water had all gone, to name but a few. He has also decided to become reacquainted with throwing everything in sight. Waking him in the morning is proving akin to tackling an assault course as he immediately stands up and hurls everything he has in his cot at me! It’s literally like he has been lying in wait for oneself to saunter in whilst half asleep and reflex reactions lowered . Bottle lobbed at my head, teddies flung at my face and yesterday I even received a monster truck to the chin- all in the space of a minute! Where did that even come from? I pondered, whilst seeing stars.

The only saving grace this week (my name is Grace, so not going to lie, I like what I’ve done there) is that baby has been relatively calm. I am assuming this will be short lived however as he gets his second round of the bad injections this Wednesday. I await the cluster fu$% of explosions, barfing and high temps that those will bring! Next week’s instalment will just involve me losing my shit probably- just a warning.