I haven’t been able to write in weeks. This is something that’s unusual for me. Even when I’m at my lowest ebb, I still find the capacity to projectile my thoughts onto WordPress. Lockdown has finally gotten the better of me. There, I said it!
It started off quite lovely to be fair. No mad rush out in the mornings, no multiple school pickups. My homeschooling game was strong and I was organised. Flash forward to now….
- Alarm clock off. Who needs to know the time when you can’t even remember what day it is.
- My kids have suddenly developed an innate need to eat two breakfasts each. I mean, I’ve spent years trying to get them to eat one and now they want two! I feel like I spend the majority of the morning doing dishes.
- Homeschooling is sending me over the edge. Trying to sit with Eldest whilst Baby demands my attention every two minutes is stressful. When I try to read with Eldest, Baby cries repeatedly that I read him ‘Max Monkey’ on Eldest’s reading platform.
- F#ck that book Max Monkey.
- When I finally go to get ready, it’s like an alarm bell sounds in their heads and they follow me. I’m like an unwilling pied piper.
- I feel guilty bringing them out as I’m supposed to be homeschooling. On the other hand, I also don’t want to watch them batter each other on the trampoline. What’s a girl to do?
- The snack demands are high. Middle ate a whole box of strawberries the other day and had a little accident. I was so chuffed that he wanted fruit instead of anything else, I didn’t think of the consequences.
- As above, my bum wiping game has been bolstered during lockdown. I’m the Micheal Jordan of arse wiping. But, I really shouldn’t be. Try to teach Middle that his P1 teacher won’t be doing that. Still end up doing it due to homeschooling and providing Baby with endless yoghurts.
- No sooner dress them, turn around, and they are naked again. In the name of whatever!!!! Why do these boys deem clothing entirely unnecessary? Maybe they are onto something however and I should once again shock the window cleaner. To be fair he didn’t take anything off my bill last time, which says a lot.
- Bubble mixture has saved my sanity. Baby is entirely enthralled. Huge shoutout to Jeff Bezos sitting in one of his huge mansions whilst not paying corporation tax. I’ve got you Jeff, enjoy your view whilst I look at Middle’s arse.
- Putting subtitles on Netflix is still learning right? I mean, it’s the same as the reading platform surely?
- Eldest has progressed from Joe Wicks and has now formulated his own home workout. Which mainly involves using a baby step to do push-ups on the kitchen counter, right at the fridge. Considering that’s the main focal point of my day, it’s a complete hindrance. Someone give me half of his energy- I need it.
- You should never finish on an odd number, IXL has taught me that. Yet here I am doing it. I’ve literally learnt nothing.
All in all, I’m losing it. But, it’s normal (I think). I love these kids with every fibre in my body, I just didn’t expect to be seeing so much of them. On the other hand, it’s been a blessing. I’ve learnt to adjust how I do schoolwork with Eldest. I’ve realised how utterly frustrated he gets and I’ve had to deploy different methods to quell said frustration. I would never have learnt that otherwise, homework was always such a rush. I’ve learnt that Middle farts an awful lot but is also highly intelligent (when he isn’t acting the eejit). Baby’s speech has come on enormously, having been around the others much more than he would normally be. It doesn’t make it any easier though. The bathroom has become my sanctuary when I want to break free and have a sob. Feel free to lose it sometimes. We are only human after all. Coronavirus seemingly didn’t meet a mum before. Bring it on (unless there is a second wave and I end up homeschooling again).